Begin Again
by littlee0618
Summary: Rachel learns to love again. AU. For Sofia's birthday.


For Sofia, who gave me a pretty specific prompt as a gift for her birthday. I hope this is everything you imagined and more. I don't own Finn or Rachel, just the idea. 

* * *

**Begin Again**

There was this little coffee shop not far from the theatre she was working at, that Rachel loved to visit. It had these amazing vegan cupcakes that she liked to indulge in once and awhile, and the atmosphere was what she liked most about the place. It was quiet and a little hipster, as her roommate Tina called it. It was a hole in the wall, and never really full and that's what gave her the most comfort. She could come, order a cupcake and a latte and just be. She had a usual table, that she commandeered every time she was there; the one in the back corner with a funky looking light hanging from the roof that gave off a soft pink glow. She liked it best because pink was her favourite colour and it was just soft enough to not be too harsh. She could read her books, go over her scripts and be comfortable in her own little spot in the world. Sometimes Tina joined her, most of the time she didn't. They had busy schedules and had often flipped schedules, even if they worked at the same theatre. Rachel was the under-study to the lead in the off-Broadway production of If/Then that they were producing, while Tina was part of the chorus and was always involved in something going on either on or off stage. Her long-time boyfriend was the lead choreographer, and Rachel tried not to feel so envious.

Rachel blew out a breath as she pushed the door open, her bangs falling into her face as she did so. The late summer sun bathed her back as she entered the small cafe, the air conditioning a welcoming change to the late summer heat wave that was New York was currently embattled in. She gave another breath to get the fallen hair out of her face before heading up to the counter to order the iced vanilla soy latte that she had been dreaming about since the beginning of practice. The air had broken down in the small theatre and it had been an even sweatier practice than the rest of the summers.

When the cold beverage was placed in front of her she placed a couple of bills down on the counter and smiled her thanks to the tall blonde barista, Quinn, who was a regular server and had come to know Rachel's order almost verbatim and knew her by name. She turned after grabbing a straw for her drink and went to take up her usual space in the corner. Only she stopped short when she saw the table was occupied.

She bit her lip as she glanced around the small room and tried to find a different place to sit. She kept looking back at what she had deemed her spot, catching small glances of the tall man who seemed intent on leaning against the wall, his phone glued to the side of his face with a laptop propped open in front of him. From her vantage point he didn't look like he was ready to pack it in, and she flicked her eyes to the next available seat - the one directly beside him. Rachel blew out a breath before turning around and leaving the building, her drink already sweating in her hand before the heat of the day hit her again. 

* * *

When she went back a week later, he was there again. Rachel chewed her lip as she stared at the figure in the corner, surrounded again by a laptop but this time not on the phone. The cafe wasn't nearly as packed as it was the last time. She didn't want to leave, Tina was out with her boyfriend and there was only so much tv she had to watch to clear her DVR. She wanted to be out and she was going to brave this - it was silly she knew, it was just a table - it shouldn't bother her so much that her table was taken. It's not like she owned it.

She took a few steps before dropping the books she was carrying on the table. Her drink was balanced precariously in one hand and she sighed when the folder containing her script spilled out all over the table, a few carefully highlighted pages scattering to the floor.

It had been that kind of day. She placed the drink on the table and closed her eyes to quickly count to five before bending down to pick up the pieces. But no sooner had she bent at the waist to pick up the scattered sheets, she nearly bumped into the tall figure from the other table, _her table_ who was already starting to pick up her things. 

* * *

_She was so happy. She clutched her bag to herself as she walked the streets of New York, the blustery fall cold beating against her. She wanted to get home quickly, the weather was enough to make her steps quicker but it was what she had waiting for her at the other end of the line that was making her steps lighter. She had been seeing Danny Baxter for a few months now, and honestly? It was the stuff of dreams. He made her feel safe and wanted, and...dare she even say, loved? He paid attention to her, sent her texts that made her blush and even think about love. It made her feel warm and cozy amidst the cold weather and as she hurried towards her apartment she couldn't help but want to move faster. Danny had promised her a night in, with a bottle of her favourite wine and Funny Girl on the TV. It had been a long week of finals and showcases and he needed this just as much as she did. He was performer too, a year ahead of her._

 _She got to her apartment building and pushed open the doors before running for the stairs. She had an hour to get ready, and she wanted to shower and get ready. A late night studying cram session for her History of Jazz midterm had left the apartment in disarray. She wanted to make a good impression on Danny - he came from New York and even weeks into it she didn't want him to think that she came from anything less. He was her first boyfriend, her first - love - and she just wanted everything to be perfect, everything she had dreamed about when she was a little girl._

* * *

 __She was so nervous. Rachel's hands twisted as she sat at her table and waited. Her leg jostled too, so much that the latte she had bought moments ago. She chewed her lip and moved her fingers around the cardboard holder that had been put around her drink. She'd chosen a warm caramel latte, in an effort to keep her nerves down. The little bell above the door to the coffee shop dinged and she felt her muscles stiffen. Her fight or flight instincts were on high alert, and as soon as he came into her view they raised even higher.

Finn Hudson was his name, and he was...he was a dream. At least that's how he seemed to her. Over the past few weeks they'd been getting to know each other. After that fateful day where he had so chivalrously helped her pick up her script pages off the floor, they had started talking. She didn't know much about him, but what she did know caused those butterflies to ignite. She knew he was new to the city, having moved only a few weeks ago before the start of the new school year. She knew he was a teacher, fourth grade and she knew that he had a dog - Bentley - who had actually been his from a young age. She knew that he was kind, and gentle despite his looming height. So when he had asked her a few days ago for a formal date - she couldn't help but say yes before she could think about it further.

"Rachel," his smooth voice hit her ears and she tried to push all the rampant feelings she felt rolling in her stomach and head back into the recesses of her mind. "I was hoping to get here before you but I had to...," he stumbled over his words as he stuck his fingers in his pockets.

"It's fine," she gave him a soft smile as she felt her body relax while her fingers clutched the warm drink in her fingers. "I haven't been here very long."

He nodded and she couldn't help but find the action cute. He pushed the sleeves of his sweater up before repeating the nod. "I see you got your drink already, can I get you anything? I really need a coffee..."

"I'm good," she nodded.

* * *

 _She felt like she couldn't breathe. Rachel bent over at the waist and wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to catch herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to hold back the tears that were coming faster than she could keep back. She couldn't believe this was happening right now. She clenched her arms around herself tighter as she backed into the wall behind her, desperate for support. She heard footsteps coming from her right and she squeezed her eyes tighter against the tears, silently praying that it wasn't_

 _him coming after her. Her stomach rolled as the smell of sweat and his expensive cologne flooded her immediate space._

 _"Babe, why'd you run off like that?" his voice was a little too suave for her liking. The disgusting feeling in her stomach continued to grow. "Babe, I'm sorry...you know I have needs...and I thought you and me were just having fun..."_

 _She heaved as the words left his mouth and curled her body so her hands were resting on her knees._

 _"Go to hell," she sobbed, her words coming out stammered against the tears. "Go to fucking hell..."_

* * *

Being with Finn was...different. Not a bad different. In fact it was a really, really good different. He made her laugh, made her smile, made her feel alive. She got butterflies every time he was around her, and the anticipation she felt every time she knew she was going to see him was something she had never felt. He made her feel beautiful, and wanted and special. She'd felt like this before, had had her heart shattered and her wellbeing shattered by these same feelings. But there was something different here, with Finn. Something more.

She tried to tell herself it wasn't possible to call it love after three months. She had done that before, been down this road before and it had ended badly. Horribly. Months of crying and not sleeping had left her guarded and chained to her feelings. But with Finn...she wanted to feel, _everything_.

Three months and he made her feel like she could conquer the world. Like she didn't need to worry about anything ever again. And as she rounded the corner of the street she felt that familiar warmth spread through her body as she saw him leaning against a post in front of their coffee shop. She smiled at the thought about it being their coffee shop, a term they had coined on their one month anniversary. It was still a place they frequented, especially since it was so close to both his school and her theatre.

"Hey gorgeous ," she felt a warmth spread through her when she heard his voice. She looked up to find him leaning against a lamp post that was just outside the cafe. She felt a familiar smile come to her lips as she took the few steps to get to him. He looked so handsome standing there, his wool coat pulled tight against his strong chest, a pair of dark denim jeans covering his lower half. A hat covered his head against the coldness of early December and her smile got wider when she got to him. He stood up straight, pushing away from the lamppost to open his arms and greet her. She allowed him to wrap her in his arms and she breathed in deeply when she her face came in contact with his coat.

"Hey yourself," she grinned when she lifted her head. He returned the grin as he looked down at her. They met in the middle for a sweet, quick kiss and she couldn't help but giggle when he dipped in for a second, briefer kiss. "Ready to get going?"

She nodded her head emphatically as she reached for his hand. "I'm so glad today is over," she sighed.

"Long day?"

"Technical rehearsals are always the longest..." she sighed. "But it's done now so that's all that matters!" Rachel grinned. She squeezed his hand. "I'm very glad to see you right now, though..."

Finn grinned and squeezed her hand back. They walked down the block for a few minutes in a comfortable silence that Rachel had grown to love. She felt comfortable with him. There was no need to keep a steady stream of words. He just _got her._ Just like she felt she got him too.

"So I was thinking we could pick up some take-out from that place you like so much," he grinned as he led her towards the subway stairs. "And we could just...have a night in? If that's okay?"

"That sounds perfect..."

She had been to his apartment once or twice before, in the last three months. He lived in what she considered to a nice apartment and unlike her, didn't have to have a roommate. The first time she had come over she had been so nervous. Previous experience didn't do her many favours, as Danny still tried to be suave and a "big shot" even in his own apartment that he shared with two other people. But Finn had melted all her fears. He was a gentleman through and through, had cooked her dinner that first night and let her lead the way. He respected her, and on that very basis she felt herself falling in love with him as each day passed. 

* * *

Rachel threw her head back as she sat across from Finn at the breakfast bar that resided in his kitchen. She tried to balance herself on the stool so she didn't fall backwards, but as he continued to demonstrate with great physical movements something that happened in gym class with his kids today she couldn't contain her laughter. She felt tears pique in her eyes as she watched him dance crazily in front of her and almost fall over.

"You should have seen it Rach, it was something out of Charlie Brown," he chuckled. He pulled his own stool back out and sat down, reaching for the bottle of beer he had opened with the meal. He took a sip before putting it back down and smiling at her from across the small table. "I mean, I know I'm no accomplished dancer like yourself, but to me it was pretty funny..."

Rachel blushed at the compliment as she looked back across the table at him. She reached for her own glass of wine and took a tentative sip of the red liquid. It was the perfect compliment to the Chinese food they had picked up from a little restaurant around the corner from his apartment. She felt the drink hitting her, settling a warmth in her belly and a rose coloured blush found its way to her cheeks.

"So you have a birthday coming up," he brought up after the laughter died down. They both went back to their meals, or what was left of them. Rachel pushed her fork through the vegetable chow mien that was left on her plate. She stopped the movement and allowed the fork to fall to the plain black plate. She looked up at him as her eyes widened at the mention of her birthday that was a week away. With the play coming up on opening night she had been so busy, and had barely made plans for the day. Her fathers were going to wait for her opening night to come into the city. Both of them were busy with their successful law practices on other sides of the country to be bothered to come for both days. It didn't bother her much, she was used to playing second fiddle to their careers - even more so that they had divorced several years ago.

"You...you remembered?" she asked quietly.

"Of course I remembered pretty girl," he winked. "I remember my 23rd birthday very well..." he winked again. "Anything special you want to get up to? Anything you want..your wish is my command..."

She tried not to let the touched look get to far on her cheeks. Finn was grinning at her from across the table before blowing her a soft kiss and turning back to his meal. She turned away for a moment before looking back at him.

"Finn?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah babe?"

"I just want to spend time with you..." she drifted for a moment before she cleared her throat. "I just...just something like this would be perfect for me..."

"You got it, sweet girl," he winked. She could already see the wheels turning in his head.

* * *

He didn't tell her what he had planned. They talked off and on the days leading up to her birthday, and every time Rachel tried to ask him about her birthday, he would respond that he had it all under control. Even when she tried to guess, he would wink and it would send butterflies through her stomach, something she was still trying to get used to.

She woke up the morning of her birthday to a knocking on the door. It was Saturday, and she thanked her lucky stars that the director hadn't imposed a mandatory rehearsal as he had the last few in a row. She was exhausted and all of her limbs screamed. She grabbed her phone and a hair tie as she walked out of her bedroom, wondering briefly why Tina hadn't answered the door first. She blinked against the sunlight that was coming through the window in the kitchen that faced the street and as the knocking continued she caught sight of the clock on the television box and almost balked when she saw that it was after hadn't slept this long in awhile and she raced to get to the door. Her heart hammered when she thought if it was Finn, and she looked like garbage. But when she opened the door, it wasn't Finn on the other side. She only had a moment to be disappointed before the man in front of her spoke.

"Rachel Berry?"

"That's me," she sighed.

"These are for you. Sign here please," the man thrust out both a clipboard and a bouquet of fresh flowers. She took the clipboard from him first and quickly scribbled her name on the dotted line before giving it back and taking the bouquet. The man turned and left before she could say anything else. She brought the flowers to her nose and took a deep breath in, her eyes closing at the smell. She loved flowers. She walked into the apartment and closed the door with her foot and as she held the flowers. A card in between a few brightly coloured carnations caught her eye, and she smiled when she recognized Finn's scratchy writing on the cover of the envelope. She made her way into the living room and plopped down on the couch with her grip firmly still around the flowers in one hand and plucked out the card with the other.

 _Rach,  
For the most beautiful woman in the world on her birthday. I hope your day is fabulous, and I cannot wait to see you tonight. Be ready to go for 6pm...I'll meet you at our spot._

 _Finn._  
 _Xoxo_

She blushed at his words. She wasn't used to the constant compliments. She tried not to let them get to her, being called beautiful and gorgeous wasn't something she was completely comfortable with. She was never the popular girl in high school, still saw herself as second best, at best because of the fact that she hadn't landed a lead role. But every day with Finn, every text message, every voicemail that he left her made her feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world - another feeling that just wasn't something she was used to.

But she was beginning to think, that with Finn, anything was possible.

She puttered around the apartment for the better part of the day. Tina came home shortly after her flower delivery and took her out for lunch at vegan place by their apartment. She tried to get any information out of her, but Tina wasn't very helpful. Her and Finn had only met a handful of times and while they were friendly, Rachel quickly learned they weren't quite on texting terms just yet. Tina was a tough nut to crack sometimes, often too protective and hard to get through - she had been there during the Danny period of her life and had vowed when it was over to not let anyone hurt Rachel as much ever again.

By 4pm she had decided to turn off the TV even if another showing of Funny Girl had just come on one of their on demand movie stations and start to get ready. She had no idea what his plan was, she had even tried to text him but the texts had gone unanswered. She didn't know whether to dress up or down, wear a dress or pants...she began to hyperventilate after she turned the shower on and let it warm up.

 _It's just Finn, Rachel. We like Finn. We trust Finn. We even think we love him. Calm the fuck down, will you?_

Finn had his back to her when she walked up to him. Rachel stopped short a few steps behind him and tried to allow herself to calm her racing heart. She'd almost missed her train that would get her here, and poked herself in the eye with her mascara as she was getting ready. Her hands had shaken so badly she had to redraw on her eyeliner and almost broke the strap of the heels she was wearing. She was nervous; so nervous. It was just Finn. It was her birthday. She had no reason to be nervous.

"There's the birthday girl," she smiled sweetly when she noticed that he had turned around and was walking towards her. Her heart beat against her chest rapidly and increasingly so when he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. The smoothness of his lips made her heart flutter and a blush creep on her cheeks. She smiled as she leaned up more to press a peck to her lips. "Happy birthday sweetheart."

She flattened her feet against the pavement as much as she could in her heels and smiled up at him. He gently took her hand and squeezed. "Thank you," she whispered. "I got your flowers...thank you...they're gorgeous, Finn..."

"Not as gorgeous as you..."

She blushed with the compliment. "Now what do you say we get this night started, huh?" He tugged her hand so she was right beside him and didn't waste a minute to wrap his arm around her waist. She settled into his side and let him lead her down the snowy sidewalk. She trusted him blindly, because she had been asking questions all day. She felt at home in his side and if she wasn't worried about tripping on her feet, she would have closed her eyes just to enjoy the moment in all forms.

"Don't fall asleep on me birthday girl," he chuckled as he untangled himself from her for a brief moment. Before she had time to dwell on the loss of contact he had taken her other hand and started to walk backwards so that he was facing her.

"You're going to fall," she laughed as he tugged on her hands.

"Don't be silly, I got this," he winked.

"You going to tell me where we're going?" she asked quietly.

"Where's the fun in that?" he chuckled as he tugged her hands again to bring her closer. He dropped her hand and wrapped her closer into his body. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head that she had painstakingly pinned back with the help of a dozen bobby pins.

They walked in quiet until they came up to a quiet little vegetarian restaurant. It had just opened in the area to rave reviews. She had mentioned it once, in conversation. She had never thought Finn would take it to heart - it had been that minute a suggestion. She tried to keep to a strictly vegetarian diet but often dabbled with chicken and some fish. Finn was a meat eater, had been upfront about that - but the sweetest thing he had ever said to her was that he would never indulge, too much, in front of her. Something Danny had never respected.

Finn went for the door and held it open for her.

"Finn," she whispered.

"What? Come on, it's cold..." he laughed. "Babe, you said you wanted to try this place and..."

As she passed him by to walk into the small restaurant she lifted on her toes and pressed a cold kiss to his cheek. He pressed a hand to the small of her back and she shivered against the way he rubbed the spot at the very center.

A waitress showed them to a corner style booth that Finn had reserved earlier during the day. Rachel followed him dutifully through the organized maze of tables. For a Saturday evening the place was probably at 75 percent capacity, but Rachel didn't notice any of the other patrons. Finn's silhouette was all she needed.

Finn thanked the waitress who left them to get settled after promising to return with waters for the both of them. They scooted into the booth on opposite sides. While she stopped on what she perceived would be her side of the table, Finn continued to move until he was sitting in the very center of the table, the crook so to speak.

"Why are you sitting all the way over there, birthday girl?" he questioned. She could only return with a quizzical look before scooting forward more and coming to rest beside him so they were hip to hip. The same warmth from earlier filled her as he shrugged out of his coat and laid it on the empty space on the bench seat before helping her out of her pink pea coat and laying it with his. She adjusted her necklace and smiled when she saw he was looking directly at her.

"You look beautiful, new dress?"

She shook her head with a blush on her cheeks. "Birthday gift to myself..."

"Nice choice," he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek before they both turned to look at the menu in front of them. A quietness enveloped them, and Rachel's mouth salivated at the pictures and listings inside the menu. She hadn't been hungry all day and had just picked at a few fruits and veggies she had already cut up. Her stomach grumbled.

She was drawn out of her thoughts and musings over what she could possibly order when she felt his warm hand come to rest on her thigh. She could feel the heat from his large palm through the stockings she had chosen to wear with the birthday dress she had treated herself to. Goosebumps rose on her arms as he rubbed the spot gently.

"Want to check out the wine list?" he asked quietly as he reached for it with his free hand while not moving his other from her thigh. "A little birdie told me they have quite the collection..."

She chuckled, because within the last three months she had learned that most of the time when he referenced a little birdie he was usually referring to his step-brother Kurt, who she had only met enough times to count on one hand.

"I could go for a nice glass of red," she chuckled. "But I'll let you pick..."

"Nu uh," he shook his head and she instantly was met with flashes of what her subconscious thought he might have looked like as a little boy. "You're the birthday girl, you get to choose whatever you like...but I must tell you, I have cake back at my apartment," he winked. "But no wine, sorry."

"I'll forgive you, only because you have cake..." she grinned before turning back to the menu. "But seriously, pick a wine...I have no idea what would be good or...you know...bad..." she chuckled.

"And I do?" he laughed. He patted her leg as their waitress approached them. They ordered an appetizer of garlic bread to share, and Finn picked out a bottle of red wine to share. When she left, he turned into her and nuzzled his nose into her cheek and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. When she looked over, he said nothing but placed one more kiss on her cheek before turning to his menu.

She chose the eggplant lasagna, based primarily on the fact that the photo in the menu made her salivate at first sight. Finn chose the spinach and ricotta gnocchi, and she had to laugh when he ordered it because he tripped over gnocchi several times while the waitress held in her giggle. He still kept his hand on her thigh, and the simple act of it made her smile and heat flush through her system.

When the food came, they both relaxed into a comfortable silence as they ate. The red wine he had picked turned out to be the perfect pair to her meal, and she couldn't help but steal glances out of the corner of her eye at him as he dug into his food. On the third go around, he caught her looking at him and gave her a small half smile.

"Is yours okay?" he asked as he reached for his napkin. He dabbed at his lips where a little bit of cheese lingered and she subconsciously reached for her own napkin, in fear that she had something on her lip other than her pale pink lip gloss.

"It's delicious," she smiled before reaching for her fork again. "Want to try a bite?"

Finn turned to look at her plate and she bit back a chuckle when she saw the way he tried to reign in the look of disgust hiding behind his lips. "Sure," his words didn't sound the least bit convincing.

"It really is good, I promise," she chuckled. She stabbed a piece that was particularly gooey with cheese and dripping a bit in the delicious tomato sauce. Not a lot of eggplant had even made it onto the fork. "But you don't have to if you don't want to..."

He offered her another smile and nodded his head. She extended the fork the little bit she needed to give him the bite. She watched him for a moment as he chewed and swallowed, waiting for his review.

"It's good," he said once he swallowed and then he winked. "But this one is better," he stabbed a particularly cheesy bit of dumpling and held it out to her. She leaned in and let him put the fork to her mouth before taking the bite. It was good, but not as good as hers.

"It's good," she smiled. "But mine is better..." she winked before going back to her meal. 

* * *

When he told her to sit tight on the couch while he ran to his bedroom, Rachel didn't know what to expect. The apartment was bathed in quiet, and he had only turned on a few lights around the living room. She'd kicked off her shoes when he told her to get comfortable, and sat on the couch with her feet tugged under her legs as best as she could without being too obvious or immodest. She fluffed her hair when she heard him coming down the hallway behind her and waited to turn around until he was in the room. He'd unbuttoned the top two buttons of the dress shirt he had worn to dinner and his hair looked mused from the winter walk and subway ride they had taken to get here. But he carried a small gift bag in his hand and wore a small, shy smile on his face.

"Babe," she sighed when he came front and center to her. She didn't use the pet name regularly but as he looked down at his feet with the bag in his hand she couldn't help but let it slip. The blush that spread across his cheeks helped her appreciate the moment that much more.

Finn took a few tentative steps towards her and sat down on the couch beside her. She moved her feet so that she was sitting up properly and he handed her the bag.

"Finn," she whispered.

"It's your birthday," he answered simply once she took the bag from him.

"But the flowers...and dinner...and the cake that you promised," she winked, trying to break up the sudden change in atmosphere around them. The room had grown thick, and Finn almost looked nervous.

"I know...it just spoke to me when I was at the mall so..." he gestured to the bag. "Open it? Please?"

Rachel nodded. She pulled out the glittery tissue paper and dug around before she came to a small box at the bottom of the bag. Her heart thundered in her ears as she closed her fingers around the box. She pulled it out and dropped the small bag to the ground. Her hand shook as she held it in her palm. Finn seemed to notice her hesitance and closed his hand around hers. She opened the box and felt tears come to her eyes when she gazed at the small, star shaped studs that glittered in the soft light. Such a simple, thoughtful gift, to her, that spoke volumes.

"The second I saw them, Rach, I knew I had to get them..." he started. "I just wanted you to have them. You're going to be a star Rachel, and I wanted you to have them. You're special, but most of all you're special to me..."

Rachel felt her heart swell at his words. She ducked her head and starred at the jewellery in her hand. Finn used his thumb to run over her finger softly as she stared at the earrings.

"I love them," she whispered. She couldn't help it, but tears piqued in the corners of her eyes. The earrings were the most thoughtful gift she had even been given in her adult life. She chewed her lip as she thought about how to respond. She picked up her head and turned to look at Finn, who was starring down at her intently. Their eyes fused together in that moment, as so many thoughts floated through Rachel's mind. She felt that she saw the same kinds of emotions that were fluttering through her head, love, lust, appreciation - floating in his whisky eyes. His eyes were her favourite part of him. She loved his eyes.

Finn dipped his head, and in a split second Rachel felt the soft touch of his lips against hers. It was so light that there was barely a touch, and she sighed disappointingly when he pulled away from her. But she wasn't disappointed for long, because as long as it took her to suck in another deep breath, Finn pressed his lips to hers once more, this time a little more insistently. She felt herself being swept away as he pressed his lips more into hers, her heart beating wildly in her chest as he wrapped his hands around her hips so she was facing him more directly. The pressure of his hands, the way he held her, the way he touched her caused a heat she wasn't unfamiliar with to rise. She kissed him back with as much insistence as he was kissing her with, and she whimpered against his mouth when she felt his tongue gently prodding at her mouth, seeking entrance. She opened her mouth slowly and allowed him in, whimpering once more as they started a dance with their mouths that had become so familiar to her. He pulled her closer by her hips as they kissed, until she was sitting in his lap with her legs hanging over the side, the earrings long forgotten on the couch cushion behind her.

When the need to breathe became much too great, they both pulled away and a warm blush coloured her cheeks as she hid her face in his chest. His warm hands surrounded her hips, his fingers tightened around her as he pulled her a little closer, until they were chest to chest. She smiled gently when he pulled one of his hands from her chest and gently ran his hand over her forehead, pushing away a few strands of hair that fell out of her well constructed up-do.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered. His voice was quiet, and she lifted her eyes to stare at him. His eyes weren't focused on her face; instead they were staring intently at the top of her head. She watched him with widened eyes as he moved his fingers through her hair, systematically and slowly pulling each and every bobby pin out of her hair. As each one was liberated from her hair the strands she had carefully pinned back hours ago began to fall, cascading down her back as they fell. When it was finished, he reached over to the coffee table and dumped the bobby pins onto the surface, shaking his hand as a few had stuck to his now sweaty palm. Her heart thundered in her chest and up to her ears as she looked up at him, and his eyes looked down to pierce hers. His hands followed, his large extremities coming to cup each side of her face. He brushed his thumbs along the underside of her eyes, causing them to fall closed at the simple touch. Even with her eyes closed though, she could feel his movements and opened her mouth just slightly when she felt his lips touch hers. Rachel instantly felt herself get lost in the kiss, his lips moving over hers with no sense of urgency but with something deeply rooted behind his movements. She felt over come as she let him sweep her away, his hands moving slowly down from her cheeks to her shoulders and down her arms as the kiss continued, finally coming to rest again on her hips. When they pulled apart she slowly opened her eyes and looked deep into his darkened ones. She made a decision then, as her heart pounded and she struggled to get a hold of her breathing.

She loved him. In that moment she wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Three months or not, three minutes or not she knew it in her bones. As she heaved, she brought her hands down to her own hips and rested them on top of his. She felt him watching her as she brushed her fingers along his, stroking the digits as she entwined each of their hands together. She dragged both pairs of their hands off of her hips, using her right and his left to come up to her chest. She untangled his fingers and pressed his flattened palm to her beating heart. She brought her eyes up to his and watched as he stared at where she had pressed his hand, watched as the look in his eyes changed. Their eyes connected once more, not for the first time or the last time that evening. She didn't need to speak the words, they were reflected right back to her in his eyes.

He surged up and pressed his mouth to hers again, this time more insistent than the last. She whimpered as he pulled her as close as he could, his hands finding purchase on her hips once more. She sucked in a breath when he pulled away, and started to move his lips across her face, planting soft, wet kisses along her cheek. She sucked in a breath when his lips trailed across her jaw, nipping gently at her jaw as he made his way down to her neck. She whimpered as she tried to move herself closer, move the angle of her neck so that he could get better access. Her own hands curled around his neck as she ran her fingers through the curly hair at the back of his neck, the pads of her fingers brushing against the stubble from where he had gotten the hair there shaved a few days ago. She shivered as Finn's hands danced around her hips, moving to the front of her body to gently dance up and down her stomach as he moved his lips back up to her face and placed a hard kiss on her lips. She pulled away with a gasp when she felt his fingers find the bottom of her dress. He fingered the material before moving again to her hips, away from the material. While his fingers travelled up the material, she instantly missed the feeling that his hands on the bottom of her dress implicated.

They hadn't gone further than this, ever. In the three months of dating they hadn't gone past - this. And as she looked at him, she knew she wanted more. More of this night, more of them, more of - him.

His hands didn't stay still, after that. Rachel pushed herself closer to him at every kiss, every nip he placed on her skin and she felt her body respond in kind. He pushed her forward with his movements that caught her off guard. As she fell back on the couch she couldn't help but let out a giggle as his head buried into the side of her neck and placed a wet, hot kiss there. In an effort to get comfortable she spread her legs so that they straddled each side of his body. She flinched when he moved, aligning himself properly with hers as he moved his head so he was looking at her directly. In an effort to get his attention back to what they were doing, she squeezed her thighs around his hips, and elected a small groan from his lips.

"Rachel," he murmured as he leaned in further and pressed a kiss to her lips. His hands ran up her sides and found her hips, dancing along the sides once more. "Rachel..." he murmured as he moved his lips along her jaw and down her neck again. He sucked insistently at her pulse point as his fingers danced along the edge of her dress. She wanted so badly for him to do it, touch her, move her dress. She needed to be closer to him, needed to touch him and feel him. She wanted him all around her.

She whimpered when she felt his hands finally broach the bottom of her dress, his warm, rough hands travelling up her skin as she felt her hips buck on their own accord. His fingers skirted over the tops of the tights she was wearing and passed where she wanted him to touch her the most. His fingers pressed against her bare stomach, and she felt her hips raise even further on their own accord, pressing against him. He pulled his hand back slightly at her movement and she whimpered, before moving her head up to trap his hand.

"It's okay," she breathed before she leaned her own head down to press her own initiated blistering kiss to his lips. Finn responded in kind and pressed his lips back into hers, as his other hand joined the first under her dress. She felt his hands gliding over her skin, touching, feeling, exploring. She wanted so badly to reciprocate but felt so trapped in her own desire. She wanted to feel this way forever. When he finally reached the underside of her breasts, and she bucked when she felt the rough pads of his fingers dancing along the underwire. She bucked again and sat up in a flurry.

"What, what, what happened?" Finn mumbled.

"It's okay," she mumbled. "It's ...I just want..." Finn gave her a confused expression for a moment, but she caught the way his eyes dilated when she reached for the bottom of her dress and pulled it up and over her head.

It took Finn a split second to replace his hands on her, reaching forward to resume their position from only a moment ago. She twitched and shivered when she felt his warm hands cup her breasts through her bra, as he pressed heated kisses to her lips, cheek and jaw. "You're so beautiful," he whispered as he trailed his lips up to her ear, pulling her ear lobe between his teeth. "The most beautiful..."

His warm hands reached behind her and with a quick flick of his wrist, undid the small clasp of her bra. She immediately warmed, but became aware quickly of her nakedness. She moved her fingers to the buttons of his shirt and tried to undo them. But in the small space between them, she quickly grew frustrated with how it wasn't working.

He moved away from her, and she felt a disappointment lodge in her throat. But it didn't last long, as he used the distance to sweep her up in his arms, leaving behind the dress she had worn to dinner. She curled her body around his as he carried her through the apartment, his erection evident from the way she had her legs wrapped around him. She used their position to her advantage and began to place insistent, wet kisses along his neck.

"Babe, I'm going to drop you if you keep doing that," he warned as he pressed her against the wall, his own hips bucking against hers as she continued.

"Then you better get me to bed, Finn Hudson," she whispered as he backed away from the wall.

He picked up his pace, and once they reached his bedroom he placed her gently on the bed. She laid in the center as she watched him from a distance. She languidly moved her legs along his comforter as she watched him pull of his shirt, hastily ripping through the buttons to get it off. Rachel felt a warmth spread through her as his large frame crawled on the bed and loomed over her.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. He reached his hand up and pushed a piece of hair away from her face. "Baby, we can stop if you're not..."

Instead of replying, Rachel pushed herself closer, using her hands to pull him down. "I want nothing more than to be with you...right now...right here," she whispered before she pushed her lips to his. But he pulled back after a moment, and she blushed as he looked at her. She watched as he dragged his hands up her sides. She trembled and closed her eyes as his palms closed around her right breast. She swallowed as he touched her gently, placing his other hand on her other breast and just holding them for a moment. She didn't have to open her eyes to know how he was looking at her, how he felt. Because she felt the same way.

She moaned a little when she felt his thumb gently pluck at her nipple, the sound increasing only as he applied pressure. She bucked her hips when it became too much, and it was only when she felt the warmth of his mouth surround the hardening bud that she bucked against his hips.

Rachel opened her eyes to find him looking at her with lust, his tongue dancing around her breast while his other hand held the twin gently. Her chest heaved when he let her go, moaning at the loss of his touch.

She felt antsy as he pulled away, sitting up so that he was towering over her. But she felt her chest heave when she saw that he was moving to her tights and she started to whimper once more when she watched him with wide, open eyes, pull her tights down her legs.

"Now you," she whispered once he dropped the tights to the side of the bed. The grin he gave her made her heart race and she unconsciously bit her lip. She watched with rapt attention as he stood up from the bed and pushed down his slacks. She tried not to appear nervous when she saw his erection extend through his boxer shorts, growing in appearance from being set free from the restricting pants he had worn at dinner. He climbed slowly back onto the bed and her body warmed to the feeling of being with him. She appreciated, that he didn't climb back on top of her, but the other part of her really missed the weight of his body on hers. She turned towards him and gently placed her hand on his chest, patting and feeling the tight muscles there. She ran her fingers over his broad chest, and down his arms, committing everything about this experience, about this night, about him to memory. When she got to his face, she traced his jaw, smiling at the scruff she felt there. She ran her thumbs over the two small marks on his left cheek, drawing her fingers over his nose and down, to trace his dimples.

He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her palm, before he mimicked what she had done earlier and placed her hand on his racing heart. it was beating so fast, and she knew now more than anything that it was because of her.

"If this...if any of this isn't okay..." he whispered as he leaned forward. "Just say the word, okay?" he pushed a piece of hair back before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She nodded her consent before she tugged him to roll on top of her. She sighed as she welcomed the weight of his body against hers and bucked her hips when she felt his hands trail over her sides. He pressed his erection between her legs as he placed a slow burning kiss to her lips that rose the heat from her toes all the way up to her cheeks. 

* * *

They rolled around on the bed, touching, feeling, teasing each other mercilessly. She was red in the face by the time they laid naked together on the bed, her hair tussled and mused from his hands. She felt the need to be even closer rising as the seconds ticked. He laid suspended above her, poised and ready, his breath heavy as he looked down at her. She cradled his hips between hers, and she felt the insistence of his need for her. Instead of feeling scared, she felt at peace. Finn leaned forward, so he was resting above her with most of his weight sitting on his elbows. She was ready, she was waiting. She bucked her hips as she waited for him to move, but he just continued to stare down at her. She reached between them and took hold of his member, causing a groan to tumble from his lips and the gaze he had on her to break.

"I'm ready, Finn," she whispered as she gently used her hand to guide him to her entrance. She watched as he slowly opened his eyes and stared down at her, searching for any sign of hesitance. "Make love to me."

With the words suspended in the air, it was all it took. Rachel took a deep breath as she stared at Finn. He shifted his weight to one arm as he took hold of his erection and led it to her entrance. Rachel felt her breath hitch as she felt him at her most intimate spot, and she closed her eyes as she felt him push inside of her for the very first time. She clenched her eyes closed tightly as a pain she hadn't expected invaded every fibre of her being. She had expected it to hurt, but in all of her now 23 years she hadn't expected it to feel like _this._ But at the same time, she had never felt more alive, or in love.

She felt Finn press kiss after kiss to her face, every inch was covered as he whispered sweet nothings to her as he stayed as still as possible.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered against her ear as he used his hand to brush away the few tears that had piqued in her eyes. "I'm sorry, we can..."

She shot her eyes open and reached for his cheeks. "No...no...it'll...it'll pass...just...don't go..." she whispered. "Just a second...please..." she tightened her legs around his waist. The move made her wince, but she breathed through it. She tentatively moved her hips again, and when the pain wasn't as bad, she nodded her head briefly as a signal that he could move.

She threw her head back when she felt him move, a few gentle thrusts at first. With each subsequent thrust of his hips the pain dissipated to a dull ache between her legs. She wrapped all of her limbs around her body as he gave himself to her endlessly, trying not to push too hard in an effort not to hurt her. She closed her eyes against the kisses he was pressing to her neck as he moved above her, her own body starting to respond against him. She heard him moan when that happened, and she wanted more than anything to hear him make that sound again.

"Oh Rachel," he whispered as he kissed her neck. She lifted her hips and bucked to meet his thrust as he started to move a little faster. "Baby, I..."

She could feel his speed increasing and she tried to tighten the hold he had on him with her legs. She didn't want it to end, and she actually felt the tears start to come to her eyes again. She clawed at his back as he moved faster, and she tried to keep up but as she felt him tense above her and then a grunt left his mouth, she knew it was over. But she didn't let go of her grip on him, even when he tried to move away. She liked feeling his weight above her, around her, all over her.

They were quiet, in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Because that is what they had just done. Even though she hadn't achieved release (she had read that it didn't always happen the first time), they had just made love to each other. A peaceful smile came over her, and she didn't pout when she felt Finn move back after a minute.

"Don't leave me," she whispered.

"I'm not," he chuckled tiredly as he pushed his lips to her forehead. "I just have to..." his eyes gestured down to his manhood and she nodded in understanding.

She laid back against the pillows and looked around once he was gone. She laughed a little bit at herself as she sunk into the comfortable pillows of his bed and hid her face in her hands for a moment when she heard him humming to himself out in the hallway. She opened her eyes and blew out a breath as she looked at the ceiling, her mind reeling with memories of just even the last few hours. Her heart thundered in her chest as she thought about it all.

But Rachel was brought out of her daydream as Finn crept back into the room, a soft smile on his face. Neither of them said anything as he walked back to his side of the bed and climbed in. Wordlessly he pulled her into his arms and sighed deeply as he pressed a kiss to her hair. She quietly curled her head on his chest, a satisfy sigh leaving her lips.

"I love you," she whispered quietly as she drew light pictures on his chest. Her head was rested on his heart, and she felt his heart start to beat faster than it already was in the afterglow of their activities.

"Rach?" he whispered. She heard the questioning in his voice.

"I love you," she whispered again. "And not just because you just...gave me the best birthday ever," she started as she pulled away from him slightly. "But because...because I love you for being you...for the way..."

Her thoughts were clipped as he dipped down and captured her lips with his own, silencing her words.

"I love you too, sweet girl," he whispered as he pulled away from her. "I love you too." She smiled against his words as he dipped in to kiss her once more.


End file.
